A syllabus doesn’t always reflect all of the pressures. They show up in the quiet realization that your degree isn’t for you, in the pause before a parent inquires about how classes are going, or in late-night phone conversations. College is more than resumes and midterms for some individuals. It’s a pledge to uphold a family’s dream, respect sacrifices, and achieve success without ever displaying the weight required to do so.
Though it’s sometimes unnoticed, that obligation can be taxing.
Seldom is it addressed while it remains invisible. Even though it influences their life decisions and depletes their energy, students may believe they are the only ones experiencing it. This strain can become isolating, and the more difficult it is to discuss, the more burdensome it gets.
Invisibility is a big problem, according to Adrian Lancaster, the creator and coordinator of the Longhorn SHARE Project. Through open communication and interaction, students can support one another’s emotional well-being in peer-led spaces provided by the SHARE program.
According to Lancaster, you can’t tell if someone is going through (parental) stress merely by looking at them. You may believe that you’re the only one having difficulties until someone strikes up a conversation and starts talking about it.
A typical encounter can seem uncommon because of that quiet. Deep loyalty is often piled on top of familial expectations for many pupils.
These expectations can be linked to feelings of responsibility, appreciation, and even debt; they are not only about performance. It can seem like you’re questioning the sacrifices that allowed you to receive your degree when you speak up.
The message sent to the students is, “We made many sacrifices to get you here, so you need to achieve.” According to UT alumna Serena Messina, a certified psychologist in interpersonal interactions, “so strongly from parents.”
Even with the best of intentions, the consequences can be detrimental, making it more difficult for pupils to express what they really desire. Burnout, sadness, and a loss of focus on one’s own objectives are real concerns associated with bearing that burden alone.
According to Messina, there comes a time when we simply collapse due to excessive stress.
Although initiatives like the Longhorn SHARE Project provide helpful forums for peer support, the subjects covered vary from semester to semester depending on the facilitators. Students who are under pressure from their families may not always locate a support group that is specifically designed for them, which could result in the problem going unsolved for a while.
Establishing a forum for discussing that burden, particularly with like-minded individuals, might help ease its burden.
For this particular problem, a student-led circle might be beneficial. A regular forum where peers discuss coping with family pressure, particularly in situations with shared identities, could normalize the experience and provide culturally appropriate and sympathetic coping mechanisms. This discussion might become a regular and noticeable aspect of campus life rather than just happening infrequently with a clear and consistent focus.
You may be honest with yourself and admit that, “Yes, I’m trying my hardest, but I’m still having trouble,” Lancaster added.
Support can be transformative even in the absence of an instant solution.
“We can handle practically anything if we have the right support group,” Messina stated. Even if we don’t yet have a solution, we feel like people are seeing and understanding us if we feel supported.
Students still experience pressure from home when they get on university. But it doesn’t have to be borne alone if there are forums for discussing it and individuals who can connect.
Chitturi is a Houston, Texas-born junior studying statistics and data science.
