What is demisexuality and why we should not rule it out as sexual orientation

  • Jessica klein
  • BBC Worklife


Image source, Getty Images

Earlier this year, when Michaela Kennedy-Cuomo, the daughter of then-New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, declared herself “demisexual,” she was greeted with public condescension.

Many mocked his demisexuality, a lack of sexual attraction to others without a strong emotional connection. Few recognized demisexuality as “real.”

But although demisexuality is not very well known, it is a sexual orientation like any other, which applies to people all over the world.

Demisexuality, which falls on the asexual spectrum, differs from simply wanting to wait for a deep bond to form before having sex with someone; rather, is more like the experience of being asexual until that kind of connection is formed, at which point the sexual attraction extends only to that person.

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